Wednesday 6 July 2011

Recreating Robyn

This here is going to be a post to clarify exactly what my blog's about, and why it has the title Recreating Robyn.

It's because I'm trying to step away from the person I am and become the person I want to be. This means many things, but don't go thinking that I'm changing the essence of Robyn because that's just not true. I like myself, I like what I like, and I'm not going to change that, merely readjust what it means to be me.

Who I want to be is someone I can be happier with. My whole life I've been unsatisfied with who I am, constantly wanting to be someone different. I'd often attempt to mimic the styles of others without success, envious of their beauty and style. I've now realised the problem, by trying to be somebody else I'm not being true to myself. I need to keep being Robyn, just do away with what I don't like and keep what I do, enhancing it and bettering myself in the process. I'm in a position to do this now that I'm sure of what I like and what I dislike.

❤ Who I am ❤
-Collector of unnecessary things (notebooks, recipes, neuroses)
-Incapable of writing
- Unemployed
- Unhealthy
- Lacking hobbies.
- Frustrated/Indecisive
- Dreaming of all the things I could do (if I had a little money...) but doing nothing towards achieving my goals.

❤Who I want to be ❤
- Housewife
-Writer
- Gardener
- Knowlegeable
- Cook
- Craftswoman
- Confident/Composed/Happy/Well dressed
- Likeable.

I don't want to change who I am, merely rearrange things a little. Yes, I want to look different, but not to become someone I'm not. I'm still wearing an assortment of clothes from past phases, is it any wonder I'm unhappy with my appearance? But in this recreation, appearance is only the aesthetics of the new me, something to better reflect my personality. I  also need to find a way to become someone I like a little better, someone who isn't constantly berating herself for who she is. Less neurotic, less indecisive. Someone who is happy with herself and in control.

Though I do have to say, some of the neuroses I do love. Specially the bit where I can't sit on a warm toilet seat.

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